I Should Be Awarded the “Great Guy of the Decade” Award After Last Night

Alright gang, I’ve got a story to tell.

Last night I went to the local Irish pub & for a couple of diet beers. I’ve been known to do this on an occasional Thursday night. They’ve got tall domestic drafts for the price of a short. Gotta take advantage of that deal as much as possible.

Anyways, this local Irish pub with a very Irish name (let’s call it McKelvey’s for the sake of the story) has a plethora of televisions with your favorite sporting events playing. There was a couple of preseason football games on the tube in which I had monetary investments.

As I was enjoying a delicious mixture of barley, rice, hops and water, in strolled a fellow light beer consumer who I had met on only one occasion previously. He pulls up to the throne next to me, exchanges pleasantries with myself and the patrons around me and orders his favorite flavor.

This young man, lets call him Trent (again, only for the sake of the story), was in the same establishment as myself last week and created a one-on-one rivalry with the pull-tab machine. I watched as he dug himself a $180-$200 hole in a couple of hours. Call him a mark. Call him a minnow. But I knew he had a little Michael Jordan in him. Or maybe a little Phil Mickelson.

I tell you that story as a precursor to the next story. I’m cheering for the Ravens and the Patriots, winning some bet, losing some bets and having a swell time. As the night wears on past midnight I notice a tennis match being played on one of the corner televisions.

The match was Coco Gauff vs Aryne Sabalenka in the Canadian Open. It was a great match. Evenly matched and close the whole way. Sabalenka was winning by a few points when I leaned over to Trent and said ‘Hey, I’ll bet you 10 dollars that Coco comes back and wins this match.’

He takes a swig of his cold pilsner and responds with ‘She’s down right now so I’ll take that bet.’ He extends his hand and we shake to finalize the bet. Before the hand shake was over I had to tell him.

“That match ended four hours ago. You owe me 10 dollars.”

We closed our tabs with our lovely bartender Nicole. Trent takes his change and goes to give me a crispy Alexander Hamilton. I told him to keep his money and know what you’re betting on in the future.

I do it for the kids. I do it for the next generation of gamblers. Maybe I do it because I’m a great guy.

Ohh, who am I kidding. I did it to appease the gambling gods and earn some karma points going into football season. Jaguars over 6.5 wins.

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