Time to Check in on Our Favorite 300lb Forward Zion Williamson

Boy, Zion Williamson is looking awfully busty…

And I’m not talking about his C-cup man tits that he has acquired with his lack of conditioning. I’m talking about him being a bad draft pick.

So to be an NBA draft bust, you need two things to happen. You need to have a shitty NBA career and you need somebody drafted after you to be a star. Think Sam Bowie ahead of Michael Jordan. Or Greg Oden ahead of Kevin Durant. Darko Milicic ahead of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. You get the picture.

This might be the saving grace for Zion. The 2019 NBA Draft has not been good. You’ve got Ja Morant, dawg. You’ve got Tyler Herro, dawg. You’ve got Matisse Thybulle, dawg. But other than that, not great.

Zion is 30th in the class in games played and 17th in minutes. Not my fault he can’t stay healthy. Stats per game mean nothing to me. All stats should be based your team’s games. Because you can bet your ass Zion is still getting paid for the 88 games that he has missed.

85 games played. 88 games missed. Again, not my fault he can’t stay healthy.

So lets compare ESPN’s favorite 300lb forward to a completely random second round pick from the same draft class that plays the same position. Let’s say Eric Paschall.

Zion: 12.6 points, 3.4 rebounds, 1.6 assists, 0.4 steals, 0.3 blocks in 173 Pelican games

E: 7.9 points, 2.7 rebounds, 1.2 assists, 0.3 steals, 0.1 blocks in 163 Warrior/Jazz games

So we’re two years and change into the careers for both and Zion Williamson is a marginally better player than Eric Paschall. Zion was picked first. Eric was picked 41st. Again, not my fault he can’t stay healthy.

One is going to put on a ton of weight, fall asleep in team meeting and lead SportsCenter and one is going to grind minutes off the bench on the third best team in the Western Conference.


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