What a way to start Season 2 for The Dozen and Jeff DeLowe! Not one, not two, but three overtimes to decide a winner and it was decided in the sixth round of sudden death! Ho-lee shit!
First, I want to set the stage, set the ambience, for the match.
On the left we have the reigning champs, The Big Screamin’ Honkers. Coley Mick, the defending tournament MVP, ripping a bowl midmatch; we have Hotel Robbie in his (Las Vegas) hotel room, but the setup story has to be ol’ Ben Mintzy needing to find wifi and going to his local coffee shop. Gotta do what you gotta do.
On the right we have Frank & the Frankettes. Nick in the presence of a world map and donning his Pirates hat for their matchup with Frank’s Mets; we have KB live from what can only be described as an insane asylum, white walls, no decoration for as far as the eye can see, and we have The Tank coming in from his legendary apartment.
After a couple of Season 2 rules changes from Jeff DeLowe, the game was on.
Rd 1: Frank & the Frankettes got on the board first, 1-0, with their answer of London, where Eaton, Bitch Face, Serena and Franklin all won Olympic gold medals.
Rd 2: LEADOFF GIBSON!! Jeff went leadoff Gibson!! F&Fs take a 2-0 lead with Mel Gibson and Julianne Moore. Big Screamin’ Honkers go down 2-0 early. Is this a little championship hangover? Do they have another comeback in their back pocket?
Rd 3: Coley pulls Richie Sexson. Great pull. As a formerly proud Indians fan, I’m upset that I didn’t get this one. The Sexman was one of my favorite players. 6-foot-8 and gangly as fuck, but that dude hit bombs. Richie Sexson is as tall as Dimitri Young is fat. Great symmetry by DeLowe. Honkers needed it, they got it. 2-1.
Rd 4: The Honkers tie it up, 2-2, as Robbie Fox comes up with George Harrison. How old is Robbie? 21? 22? Bob Fox is young enough to still be going through the ‘What-was-I-doing-with-my-hair’ phase and he’s out here answering questions from the 60’s and 80’s. An old soul for sure. But F&F’s come back with Ace of Base to take a 3-2 edge. Mel Gibson and Ace of Base, same episode???
Rd 5: Honkers take their first lead at 4-3! No championship hangover here! This is an old fashioned slobber knocker! Mintzy pulls George Karl for the Bucks 00-01 coach and Alvin Gentry for the Suns 09-10 to put BSH on top. Nick loses internet connection in West By God Virginia and is distraught to find out that he is losing upon return.
Rd 6 Niche: Frank & the Frankettes put the pressure on Bob Fox with their selection of Comic Book Movies. The Honkers counter by putting The Tank on the hot seat with the NY Mets selection. Robbie stumbles, Frank connects with John Maine. Niche categories doubled, so F&Fs regain the lead, 5-4.
BONUS: Tooooooo BAKER MAYFIELD!! Gets me hyped every time. HERE WE GO BROWNIES, HERE WE GO…
BONUS: SMASHBURGER! They’re growing! Put this one in the tickler file, the trust (or lack thereof) between Frank and Nick/KB will be an incredible ongoing saga. Will they listen to Frank? Will they go with their gut? Anyways, the Honkers swing back to take the points. 6-5 Honkers going to the second half.
Rd 7: Seemed like a couple of layups in the television category for these two teams. Both answered correctly. True Blood on HBO and Ray Donovan on Showtime, respectively. 7-6.
Rd 8: This is where the game changed hands. Nick throws out a buzzer beater steal with Nougat and dunks on the Honkers with Vanilla in a goddamn Charleston chew. Wtf? Sucked the life out of the Honkers heading into the late stages of the match. 8-7 advantage to Frank & the Frankettes.
Rd 9: The Honkers burn their lifeline trying to reach Jake Marsh for college logos, but can’t knock the hustle of Ben Mintz trying to call Reags as well. They get the point by going with Robbie’s guess of Quinnipiac and Frank is incensed that they didn’t remember the logo on a random co-worker’s hat. Frank backs up his logo knowledge with Southern Illinois. 9-8.
Rd 10: DON’T LET MINTZ GET HOT!! Perfectly played double dip by the Honkers to tie it at 9-9 and a steal by Bayou Ben to give the lead back to BSH. Mintzy took the reigns and got both geography questions. Honkers didn’t hear no bell! 10-9 Honks.
Rd 11: They might just do it folks. The Honkers might do it. Travis Kelce too obvious and Coley takes Darren Waller. Doubled up. 12-9 Honkers. Also, is lifeline Steven Cheah the most overrated entity in the world? Of all time? He fuckin’ stinks. Brandon Aiyuk dude? Guy had 700 yards total and Steve-O Cheah thinks he had two bills in a game. Coley has to pull the trigger on that one. That would have ended the match. He had it.
Rd 12: All comes down to this. Last round. Frank & the Frankettes need the steal and need to hit their double. They did it. Milk and Three Billboards. We’re going to overtime in the first match of Season 2.
OT: Back to the Olympics. Most gold medals in summer Olympic games by country. The first 10 went down like a cold, refreshing High Noon Hard Seltzer. Sudden death double OT.
Brazil, no. South Africa, no. Jamaica, no. Mexico, no.
Robbie finds Canada, yes. Nick counters with South Korea, yes.
Argentina, no. Kenya, no. Greece, no. Iran, no. We’re going to sudden death triple OT.
Portugal, no. Frank suggests the Netherlands or Denmark, Nick chooses the Dutch and that’s all she wrote. Frank & the Frankettes knock off the defending Dozen champion Honkers in the first round of triple overtime.
To be honest, the Big Screamin’ Honkers choked away a win. They were up 12-9 going in to the last round and they lost. That can’t happen. I’m a Honkers fan for life so that was tough to see. Great game to start the new season. Six ties, six lead changes. Couldn’t have drawn up a better matchup.
Personally, I got six answers correct (Athens, London, Quinnipiac, SIU, Darren Waller, Tyler Lockett). Not bad, but not my best showing. Credit to Jeff DeLowe on the new rules and format. I think they will work well. #HonkHonk