A Bunch of Crusty-Ass White Dudes Told Me Barry Bonds Isn’t a Hall of Famer For the Ninth Time

Barry Lamar Bonds is a Hall of Fame baseball player.

Hall of Fame person? Probably not. Hall of Fame morals? Probably not. Hall of Fame baseball player. Absolutely.

And I don’t give a motherfuck if he was on steroids. I wish he would have walked to the plate with the needle still sticking out of his ass cheek.

Seeing Barry Bonds swinging that legendary 34-inch black barreled, red handled bat like it was a toothpick was a must-watch AB. There was nothing like it. You had a better chance of catching a Bonds homerun ball if you didn’t buy a ticket to the game and sat your happy ass in the McCovey Cove.

I’m a stats guy (12 and 8 my senior year of high school, no big deal) and Bonds has some absolutely ridiculous numbers. Some of my favorites…

In 2004, Bonds was credited for 373 at bats. He had 232 walks, 129 hits, was hit by pitch nine times and reached on six errors. Bonds reached base 376 times in 373 at bats.

In 2004, Eric Chavez led the American League with 95 walks. Bonds was INTENTIONALLY walked 120 times that season.

Albert Pujols is second all-time with 312 intentional walks, less than half of Bonds’ 688 IBBs. The Tampa Bay Rays franchise has 615 intentional walks in 23 years of competition.

Barry Bonds walked 2,558 times in his career. At 90 feet per walk, Bonds walked 43.6 miles as a major leaguer.

The best pitchers in the world were too scared to pitch to this guy. So when a bunch of pasty BBWAA voters tell me he’s not Hall of Fame worthy, I laugh. Miss me with that noise.

Next year is his last year of eligibility. He needs 75% to get in. Bonds HOF voting…

2021 – 60.7%

2020 – 60.7%

2019 – 59.1%

2018 – 56.4%

2017 – 53.8%

2016 – 44.3%

2015 – 36.8%

2014 – 34.7%

2013 – 36.2%

And not a single Hall of Famer on this year’s ballot? What the hell?

There’s a dozen guys on the list that deserve to get in. I think Torii Hunter is a HOFer and I fuckin’ hate that guy. Not one vote.

Gary Sheffield got more votes than Manny Ramirez? Suck my ass.

Omar’s not going to get in. I’ve accepted that. I don’t like it, but if you’re a borderline guy you can’t have your baby momma throwing around assault allegations.

I could go on and on. Curt Schilling. Roger Clemens. Fuck, Pete Rose.

Whatever.

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