It’s the hero who is around, but you may not know they exist. It’s the one who can make a long car trip enjoyable. It’s the one who can brighten up your day, by knowing just what to play. It’s the person who can either make or break a party. That’s right, I’m talking about the most important, yet slept on job any working class citizen could have: being in charge of AUX cord, the Chief Music Officer, if you will.
You may not know it, but these skillful warriors walk among us each and everyday and you wouldn’t even know it. Your local CMO could be nerdy, Johnny from O. Chem II who wears suspenders to keep his pants up, but when he queues up his playlist they’ll make them come right off. Even your typical “Brad” lookin frat boy who wears the same Lakers Lebron jersey for 6 weekends straight, who insists on playing Sicko Mode non-stop. They are among us.
Now with great power, comes great responsibility, and you don’t have to be a crime-fighting, web slinger for that to apply to you. Being in charge of the AUX is one of the most sacred responsibilities to have and is almost your constitutional right as an American to handle that job with the up-most respect. Fact: They don’t give this job to just anyone.
CMO’s are a rare breed who know just the right songs to play, when to play them, and in what order they should come on in the playlist. Does Chad from Alpha Sigma Sigma, know how to properly transition a song into the next song? Probably not. Like is Chad’s playlist really that “fire”? Or did he just play WAP 3 out of the last 5 songs? That’s what I thought.
This job takes grit. Sure you can dish out of few bangers here and there, but the true test of the AUX player is dealing with the most hated enemy at any function: the rando.
You know the fringe guy of the group or party who you kinda know, but also wondering why are they here? This is the true invasive species of the hanging out ecosystem and as AUX holder, it is imperative you do NOT give up the ship. As soon as you see that person make their way towards you, you need to be preparing at least 3 reasons why you can’t play that new Russ album for him. I’m talking anything from “there’s quite of bit of songs in front of you but…” or the classic “yeah I’ll queue it up next” only for you to not even go to the search bar and it got them to go away. Now it’s different if a homie comes up and you know they’ve got at least decent taste and they bug you to throw a few songs up next, but when it comes to the rando, you just can’t be taking the risk.
Now do I consider myself a DJ? I mean, yeah, I got Spotify, so pretty much. However, this is not to take away from our unsung heroes, who day-in and day-out, with little to no recognition, making sure that the the squad is vibin’ and having a good time.
So the next you see Becky, vodka cran in hand, attempting to climb up on the bar top screaming, “OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!”, just make sure to pay tribute to the AUX cord-in-chief who was able to make that possible. Thank you for your service.