NFL Uniforms Ranked and Tiered

This NFL offseason has obviously been out of the ordinary with no preseason. Usually, we are seeing breakout players make plays against 2nd string defenses and setting expectations way too high. Unfortunately, we don’t get that this year, so here is a jersey ranking to hold you over for the next 10 days!

TIER 5: UTTER BULLSHIT

32. Tennessee Titans

I appreciate the shoutout to the Houston Oilers by keeping the old colors, but these numbers are hideous, the logo is hideous, and it just looks so late 90s to me. Never chose the Titans in franchise mode because of these atrocities.

31. Los Angeles Rams

The only reason these god awful threads aren’t ranked 32nd is that I have yet to see them in action. Other than that, my god. What’s with the weird 2 piece ram horn? These numbers look like they’re straight from a children’s cartoon and the whites look like a practice jersey. The Rams had an easy lay up in front of them to just simply go back to the Eric Dickerson era blue and gold jerseys, but they decided to go rogue. Very LA of them. These unis just told me they’re in between jobs working in freelance.

30. Jacksonville Jaguars

Thank god these guys got rid of that horrible 2-toned matte helmet! That saved them 2 spots on my list. Similar to the Rams, the whites look like a practice jersey. The blacks have potential, but these are just simply Mickey Mouse jerseys. If Shahid Khan needs to make any cuts due to Covid losses, he could start by pigeon tossing the guy who had the audacity to approve those teal alternates.

29. Philadelphia Eagles

If it weren’t for the Patriots winning all of those Super Bowls, these would be the most hideous jerseys to have ever hoisted a Lombardi Trophy. Something about that shade of green just makes me shake my head. These guys had some of the best jerseys in the game back in the 80s, a different shade of green and some normal text and lettering. But now, we have some of the corniest looking jerseys in the game.

28. Seattle Seahawks

Keep it simple, stupid! These unis are all over the place. The sad part is, I didn’t mind these at first. But I think Richard Sherman is a douchebag and on top of that, these jerseys just remind me of the neon green Nike Elite socks you would see every 12 year old kid wearing back around 5 or 6 years ago.

TIER 4: BAD

27. Miami Dolphins

With a color scheme and team name like this, there is a very fine line between awesome and horrendous when it comes to uniforms. These are unfortunately on the wrong side of that line. The all white helmets are such a clean look, that is what is keeping them from Tier 5. This new logo has yet to settle with me and I really dont like these digital clock looking numbers.

26. Houston Texans

This logo is one of the best in the league and the Texans decide to use it with these boring unis.

These look like your buddy who makes the ugliest madden custom jerseys works in the texans front office. What can they fix? Personally, I think a simple block style number and font would go a long way.

25. New England Patriots

These guys used to have the absolute worst jerseys in the league. They just looked so corny and 90s to me. My eyes are thankful that the Pats made a change up

24. Arizona Cardinals

Awesome logo. Awesome Helmet. But these jerseys need to updated. These remind me of the old Reebok Edge NHL jerseys with all the piping. Also, that stripe going all the way up the side? Puke. Get it together Cards, you could be in the top 10.

23. Carolina Panthers

Don’t ask me why, but I hate this helmet. Never been a fan of Carolina Blue, and for whatever reason the black jerseys always make it look like its a thousand degrees out. The alternates? Pass.

22. Cincinnati Bengals

Before the New Jersey Devils were winning Stanley Cups, Wayne Gretzky referred to them as a Mickey Mouse Franchise. These are textbook Mickey Mouse uniforms. Way too gimmicky. Keep the helmet, clean up the jersey. NEXT!

TIER 3: MEH

21. Los Angeles Chargers

Guys, I am sorry but I have never been on the powder blue hype train. The chargers logo is sick but they have yet to have a good jersey. Love the numbers on the helmets, maybe these will grow on me once they take the field.

20. New York Jets

I am truly torn here. I love the helmet logo change to the old school logo, but I am left underwhelmed on the jersey. The all blacks will look unbelievable under the lights at MetLife.

19. Chicago Bears

You might start noticing a theme here. I hate goofy numbers! These candy cane looking numbers are keeping the bears out of tier 2. Also, the George Halas tribute on the shoulder has always confused me.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Bucs fans! You survived those despicable alarm clock number jerseys of the Jameis Winston era and you’re back on track! However, I have always been a firm believer that the bucs need the Creamsicles of the 70s full time.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers

Some respect must be given to one of the NFL’s top franchises, but I have never liked this jersey. Maybe it is because the Steelers are one of the Detroit area’s most bandwagoned teams. Also, I hate the numbers! Give me the Terry Bradshaw era threads and these guys just might move up.

16. Green Bay Packers

Not even trying to be biased here. This color combo is just simply ugly. I will give credit, not many teams can pull off a yellow helmet. Also, some of the worst alternates in the league.

15. Denver Broncos

You already know what I am going to say about the numbers. Mickey Mouse. Also, similar to the Cardinals, these jerseys feature that ugly stripe down the side. The awesome orange home jerseys and perfect logo help their ranking.

14. Dallas Cowboys

One of the most iconic home uniforms in sports. Notice I said home. Those dark jerseys are just horrendous. Thankfully they only wear them a handful of times per year.

TIER 2: GOOD

13. Washington

Obviously, we do not know what is coming here. However, I love this color scheme and have faith. For what it’s worth, I would like to see the team remain identified as the Washington Football Team. I think its unoriginally original.

12. Minnesota Vikings

I never really liked the Vikings jersey until I went to Lions vs Vikings at USBank Stadium back in 2017. That purple jersey looked so clean on the field and the crowd was one of the best I have ever seen. This artificially pumps the Viks up my list

11. Atlanta Falcons

I rarely like seeing super modern jersey styles, but these are just awesome! These jerseys just look fast. And that first alternate? Love it. They took a risk and it worked! Way better than their transformers jerseys of the past.

10. Baltimore Ravens

Lamar Jackson single handedly changed my mind on these unis. Love the gold trim, and a top tier helmet

9. Detroit Lions

My god was I happy when the Leos ditched those embarrassing candy cane number jerseys! These new threads have grown on me. Personally, I like the blue pants on both the home and away jerseys. Also, the silver alternate looks sharp on the field.

8. Buffalo Bills

Why do the Pistons make these colors look like trash? I love the Bills logo especially. So ugly that its beautiful. Not to brag, but I have been to a Bills mafia tailgate in 2018 and these jerseys have been a personal favorite since.

TIER 1: NEVER CHANGE

7. New York Giants

The Giants have managed to make a blue and white home jersey with a red and white away jersey work. These jerseys just look like something a successful team would wear. Love the simplicity in the logo.

6. Indianapolis Colts

You have to respect the simplicity of these jerseys. The Colts don’t need your fancy alternates, they have a home and away combo that always looks clean cut. 10/10 logo.

5. New Orleans Saints

Awesome helmet with a unique color combo makes for an awesome uniform down in the big easy. The white and gold alternates might be the best alternates in the league.

4. Cleveland Browns

This jersey IS football. Always loved it. So ugly that it is beautiful. These guys dont even need a logo just give them some brown threads and an orange helmet. My theory is that Baker struggled last year because those jerseys he had on were bottom 3 in the league. Now he’s in a top 5 uni. Their mascot isn’t the only swagger you’ll see on Lake Erie this season.

3. Kansas City Chiefs

Best helmet in the league no question. That white facemask just POPS. These guys managed to use red and yellow and not look like Ronald McDonald.

2. Las Vegas Raiders

There are many iconic uniforms in the sports world. The Yankee pinstripes, those Carolina Blues, The Winged Wheel, etc. The Silver and Black fit right into that category. Tell me these aren’t the meanest looking uniforms in sports. Just an absolute masterpiece. The best part? The simplicity. Silver. Black. Badassery.

Side note: I will forever miss seeing these threads playing on a baseball diamond at the old Oakland Coliseum.

1. San Francisco 49ers

Perfection. What else is there to say? An iconic jersey for an iconic franchise. These guys even found a way to make their 90s mistake jerseys into a really cool alternate!

Thank you for reading my blog! For more content, follow @lifetakesblog and myself, @ChrisBigliardi !

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